Writer and comedian Ali-Asghar Abedi has been busy tricking Trumpworld clowns like Tomi Lahren and Corey Lewandowski into insulting Trump. Here, Abedi writes about how he did it.
Given their proclivity for ignoring facts—like over 230,000 Americans dead from COVID-19 and 8 percent unemployment—we know that the MAGA mind is a place devoid of facts and logic.
But surely the MAGA mind stretches beyond: Trump is king, Hillary is Lucifer, and capitalism solves everything? There must be more to MAGA than 50 shades of white spouting the same hate-filled talking points?
Sadly, the most diverse MAGA gets is posting pictures of leaves changing color in the fall and changing their iPhone background color to black. The reason I know this is because I initiated a series of pranks via the Cameo app to reveal how MAGA-heads’ aperture does not extend beyond Trumplandia, how they’ll say anything for a quick buck, and how vacuous their intellectualism is. We’re talking a level of vacuousness so deep that I’m half-expecting Lou Dobbs to claim that Memphis, Egypt, was named after Memphis, Tennessee, after the Ancient Egyptians were inspired by the pro-growth policies of President Trump.
If that seems harsh, consider the evidence. In August, I fooled Chief Trumpkin Tomi Lahren into recording a video message on Cameo for her fans in India. Without sparing a thought to think what she was saying, Tomi gladly praised President Trump for being, “Wise like an owl…or wise like an ullu.” As anyone who has ever eaten at an Indian restaurant knows, “ullu” is an insult in Indian culture (similar to “dumbass”). Maybe if she’d ever had a poppadom in her life, Tomi would know this too. But because she hasn’t, “ullu” became a trending topic in India and millions of Indians watching cable TV news got to know Tomi as the dope who was tricked into insulting her political hero because checking facts seemed like too much hard work.
But it’s unfair to single out Tomi Lahren, because she’s far from the only MAGA-lord to know nothing beyond MAGA-land. For example, Second Amendment girl Kaitlin Bennett blindly recited a script that encouraged South Asians to vote Trump because he protects Americans’ “God-given gun rights, because he’s pro-gun, or is a gandoo.” As South Asians—and Americans curious enough to google—know, “gandoo” means “asshole” in Hindi. Perhaps more revealing and alarming was Bennett’s willingness to parrot the line that gun rights could be God-given. Maybe she thinks that Trump’s “Two Corinthians” refers to two firearms. Or maybe she thinks that the Second Amendment was named after the book of Second Corinthians. Either one is frightening.
Of course, it’s not just the MAGA gals—MAGA guys are just as gullible. In the case of former Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the notoriously and ruthlessly anti-immigrant blowhard was pranked into singing the line “immigrants we get the job done” from the song “Yorktown” in Hamilton. When I saw that he fell for it, I initially felt bad—he comes across as a cuddly grandpa on Cameo. But a cursory search on YouTube reveals what a monster he was as sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona. Any sense of remorse was quickly vanquished after being reminded of how cruelly Arpaio wielded his power.
MAGA may vocally resist egalitarian-minded initiatives like affirmative action and Black Lives Matter. But when it comes to their own, they believe in equal opportunity: anyone can be an ignoramus in MAGA-land, not just the old (Arpaio) or the young (Lahren, Bennett). Case in point: Seb Gorka, self-proclaimed expert in Islamic terrorism, was fooled into thanking “Iblis” (a name that is synonymous with “Satan” in Arabic) for supporting President Trump. He was joined in this endeavor by Corey Lewandowski, Joe Arpaio, and Tomi Lahren (once again), despite being fed a clue that described “Iblis” as an Arab. Given that Lahren clearly learned nothing from being pranked by me before, one could be fooled into thinking that she was educated at Trump University (and not UNLV).