Eric and Junior, both hoping to inherit the presidency the same way they inherited the heap of debt and grift that is the Trump Organization, may not even be the worst of the lot.

Trump's Shittiest Surrogates Are His Own Children (and Jared)

The president’s kids may be their father’s favorite surrogates, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that they aren’t America’s. Their closing argument that nepotism is bad is not landing the way that they may have hoped. Yes, perhaps the Trump offspring, best known for their work in the Trump Organization and the Trump campaign, are not the best people to make the case against nepotism.

You’ll remember America as the country that was formed as a reaction to dynastic power systems or, as they’re called in England, monarchies. While Junior and Eric try to make the case that Hunter Biden’s addiction (and his old laptop) should discredit his father’s presidential race, they are actually making the opposite case. At least Hunter has a law degree from Yale, served on the board of Amtrak, and tried (admittedly with mixed success) to serve his country in its military reserves. The Trump boys have only ever worked for dad’s business and his campaign, if those even count as two separate entities.

And while Hunter has lived as a private citizen, Ivanka and Jared continue cosplaying as government officials. On Wednesday, Bob Woodward released a taped conversation from April 2020 with Slender Man Kushner boasting that his father-in-law was "getting the country back from the doctors" and that America was now in the "beginning of the comeback phase.” Kushner added, "It was almost like Trump getting the country back from the doctors. Right? In the sense that what he now did was, you know, he's going to own the open-up." This would of course mean that Trump, who went on to promote hydroxychloroquine and then bleach as miracle cures, does actually own the 150,000 COVID deaths after April.